My dearest darlings, Kate and Haje,
It’s so exciting that you�re finally tying-the-knot! I knew you were meant for each other after the scandal with the custard, the absinthe and the miniature schnauzer. Any couple that can grow stronger after such a harrowing, paparazzi-ridden experience is meant to be together. You know what they say, �what doesn�t kill you makes you stronger.� Gosh, you two sure proved that old saw.
Contributed by fi
Dear, dear, dear friends Katey and Haj!
I was delighted to hear of your impending marriage, however, I am mortified to tell you that ‘Guest’ and I will be unable to attend.
Contributed by Phiil
As Katheryn knows I have become heavily involved in the mysticysim of the far east of late. It has opened up stunning vistas of thought, imagingation and knowing. I have become as one with the cosmic vibrations. If one is finely enough tuned to the universal energy of thought you can actually read some of the future happenings of our current world.
Contributed by glod
Dear Kate and Haaj,
So you guys are tying the knot, eh? Good for you. I’m not really the marrying kind, myself, but I do love weddings. The tears, the dancing, the drinking. We’re going to have such a great time! I can’t hardly wait.
Contributed by PoorYorick
Dearest Kate and Haje:
It has been some time since we have seen one another, so you can imagine my surprise when I opened my mailbox and discovered, of all things, your wedding invitation. I offer you my heartfelt congratulations on your happy, if unlikely, union.
Contributed by driley
I lugubriously regret to inform you that my glorious family line may not be present (that is to say, in a material sense) at your nuptials. So sad, so sad.
Contributed by Lord Eggsby Heauwaux
Congratulations on your impending nuptials! I am so happy for you both as you begin your new life together!
Contributed by Dave
got your invitation thank you [stop] things in darfur bad [stop] lucy landmine accident no good cocktail dress [stop] feels shame [stop] stupid i know not her fault [stop] cows know not to wander in DMZ [stop] my burns are better [stop]
Contributed by bpostlethwaite
Dearest Katheryn and Haje,
Thank you for the invitation, but I must respectfully decline. As you are well aware, I am a Canadian with a strong aversion to Orwellian police states.
Contributed by davidmsc
I apologize from the depths of my heart that I shall not be available for the festivities in celebration of your nuptials. At present I am preparing an expedition into the ancient forests of Kyrgyzstan where I hope to secure a breeding pair of the elusive giant crane-billed tiger sloth, never before captured alive. These beautiful and graceful creatures, of which I have taken but one, and that by means which left its most noble form irreparably damaged, a gorgeous pelt rather than a trophy suitable for mounting, are the subject of my life’s work, and although the celebration of your nuptials vows in February would be a superlative occasion to see you both again, radiant in the joy conferred by love, I cannot give up this opportunity to hunt them again.
Contributed by ouroboros